Dear Shahidul,

Hi dear, It's me, Billah. How are things? It's good to see how your web site is being filled with constant source of inspiration and not desperation. We will not be able to imagine how you are going through your life every day. I do remember the days when we were together in the Academy, in the M. V. 'Banglar Sampad', in UK for exams and in so many other places. You had been always so close to me. And then it happened, it took away all the happiness of your life. It took away your physical ability and it took away your beloved wife. But life goes on. I know that's a homily, but homilies are homilies because they are true. And the truth of it, the terrible truth, is that Life goes on. Life does go on till Allah wishes it to cease.

When I heard that you were teaching students on computers, I was very proud of you. And when I heard that you were translating and writing a Tafsir on the holy Quran, I was proud of you again. Then  I saw this web site of your's in the air, and I thank Capt. Abdullah to help you develop this site. I can imagine what it means to you. May Allah keep you busy in something constructive and give the ability to help others at the time of desperation and failures.

I bow my head to Allah for keeping you alive after what went through you. Your parents would be able to say what difference they feel with you in their midst, when all of your brothers and sisters are away in their respective arena. Do you know how much it is for them for you to be alive and with them in their heart and in their soul? Allah is the great creator, and no doubt he knows what we all do not know. He has the key to the unknown world of mystery. How can I have the heart to say that what he did is good for you, but I just want to say that - please bear with it. Since, definitely He wanted it this way. And if He wanted it this way, you just prove it to Him that you are not sparing a thing to do your best to go on.

My heart aches to write to you but believe me, I am not trying to console you for this life. I believe that there is an eternal life after this world. And I am one of those who want that you get the best out There. You have missed your share in this world, don't you deserve it there? I bet you do. I pray to Allah that he makes you do whatever He wants you to do in your present state so that He can reward you There. May Allah bless you with His bounties.

Your's,

Capt. Mehdi Billah
Dubai/08.05.99.

Dear Shahidul!

1.
Assalamu Alaikum! You probably won't remember me and then again you might. I remember you very clearly from our 3rd phase training times in the workshop. Only last week I came to know about your web site from Captain Abdullah. It has been many years since I met anybody from 17th Batch. I sailed with five of your batch mates. Let's see, Saiful, Mamrook, Showkat, Arif and Mohammed Ali. I think it was few years back when I spoke with Mohammed Ali who signed off from a ship somewhere near New York City and ended up staying a night with one of my batch mate.

So you are stationed in Dhaka. It may take some getting used to being there for a period of time. But not to worry my friend time has the magic cure for a lot of things including placement. You are probably wondering about the subject matter of this letter. I am not even sure about it myself but I can tell you one thing, I have lived away from home more than half of my life already. There are various lessons to learn when you travel with work like we did. Just ordinary vacation or other typical business trips do not have the same gravity of the nature. I am sure you will agree, we learn to face life straight to its eye, good and bad, learn to adapt, work well with people, appreciate all that we have and most importantly the lesson of survival. You might say it's easy for me to say all these. And you are right, I am not visualizing the situation from your corner, so I fail to get the depth of it. But my friend, I must tell you this, there are things beyond the realm of our modern highly sophisticated world of medical technology. Hundreds and literally thousands of cures has happened and is having the scientists puzzled because it defies the laws that the medical science is restricted under. Plus even in Quran it is mentioned that one can attain special powers of healing by shear perseverance, dedication/AMAL. There are people from various religions and al over the globe have been found with special healing powers. I admit there are probably more fraud ones than the genuine, which by researching can be eliminated.

I am planning on take a trip sometimes by the end of this year and I would like to come and visit if it's all right with you. Life is too short and we get deeper and deeper each day by burdening ourselves into worldly affairs. When you really think about it, we shall only be chasing after a mirage for the most of our life, unless we can successfully set some realistic limits and goals for ourselves. Plus the fact that Honesty is a far away quality and has very little or no meaning in our society especially in cities, these days. What scares me the most is to see the greed in peoples eyes. There is a stiff competition amongst people to acquire vast and unlimited wealth AT ANY COST.  And the influence of the modern upstart western culture is dangerously predominant in big cities especially DHAKA. People are drinking, doing drugs, free sex and porn is very widely and easily accepted. I had been invited to a party in Gulshan in 1991 where I have seen more alcoholic beverages and drugs then anywhere else in the world even in USA where I had been living for the last fifteen years. Believe me even though I do not drink but I had been to a lot of parties and being exposed to alcohol (worked as a bartender while in school) I know a little bit of this subject. I also know that being in the merchant marine for quite a while we both have witnessed, a large number of our expatriates are into drinking and other sort of sordid affairs.

I have a request, do you think you can put out more of your pictures at your site from your past life? Meaning your childhood photos, growing up pictures( even in black and white) then your sailing life as well. Sort of an album of your life so far and this way this will give readers a clearer visualization of your life.

I have no intention nor the desire to show or hint any kind of pity to you. Well you have shown the greatest courage already by setting up the web page and coming out with your own life to the world. So my friend keep your head high. All I can say is, at the least you have your fully functional heart and soul to keep the desire to fight all that lies ahead and go on with your
life. Even if you had everything intact but somehow lost your senses(mind) it could have been more painful for you and all the loved ones. Do not fret my friend, we do not know what ALLAH has stored for us in the coming days. If there is anything I can do for you please do not hesitate to ask for it. All the best.
Khoda Hafez.

2. Dear Shahidul,

I have just processed an e-mail in BANGLA and sent you. The next minute your response came. You got my message right on my friend. The drinking....... Part is not reflected to you personally, not even by a long shot. It is just an analogy of the so called marine officers life that is perceived by our society as a whole and somewhat accepted by a few of us. Plus the fact that
in the course of all the excitement that a marine life brings, sometimes some of us lose sight of the bitter and harsh reality of our fragile and uncertain life and take it for granted. I have been called a harsh realist by people a number of times in my life , maybe because I look at life a little differently than some.  ALLAH almighty knows best and His actions always keep us wondering. It seems only the good and virtuous folks gets beat up more than the other kinds. The Islam interprets it by this, 'ALLAH tests his loved one's more by putting through difficult times and thus strengthening their belief and cleansing their sins." Why is that?" I have no clear idea.   Irrespective of that I haven't heard or know anything of that sort about you anytime. Please pardon my shortcoming for not being able to put things in proper perspective.

You know something, living abroad for the last fifteen years I have learnt a lot about these societies and peoples. I am fascinated by the different cultures and the wealth of knowledge they bring in to our lives. It helps us understand that they are no different than you and me except they may speak a different language and eat different kind of food or believe in a
different religion. And there are social practices that can be applied to our society without shaking it too much and which should have tremendous positive impact in our lives. So in that context, social drinking is part of their life for a variety of reasons. Even though contrary to our belief more people are nondrinkers than there are drinkers in the US. It's not my own
opinion it is from national statistics. There are 260-265 millions of people in this country and most people are decent and normal. But based on what is portrayed in films, movies and the general media one might get an idea that this is a war ridden society where everybody carries knives and guns and waiting for a reason to shoot somebody. And people should not get out of their homes because of crimes and there are no help for people when in need. Even I  had similar notions. But I had a rude awakenings and over time I have learnt to respect and love it. For the most part its just like home but with a lot of security and plentiful opportunities for anyone to succeed, by shear hard work and endeavour. In general people are nice and helpful just like home.

I do not consider myself learned and no way attempting to be an expert in life but I had extensive interaction with people wherever I went and did not limit myself to the people of Indian, Pakistani or Bangladesh only. On many occasion's I have had somewhat debates with folks regarding the perception about this society and people overall. We as Bangladeshi's (some of us) have a tendency to criticize everything this society has to offer and  boast about our society being far better overall. The worst part is we do it so indiscreetly without even considering the feeling of any locals present and the sensitivity of the subject.

One of my old friends used to call me a 'Modern Mollah'. I have never smoked or take drink like most of our Bangladeshi's other than an extreme rare occasion. So what I am about to tell you are just my philosophy. I rather associate with folks who occasionally drinks or smokes but a genuine, decent and helpful person otherwise, rather than one who don't drink but in general of rude, back biting and harmful in nature.  A lot of folks from our part of the world live here in rather unhealthy condition both physically and mentally. Meaning a lot of us lack basic knowledge of hygiene and its application. For the most part it is our lazy nature and the cost that we shy away from. The only goal in some of our lives is making money at whatever cost which is what I see the motto of a lot of people in Bangladesh especially in DHAKA. Even though ISLAM advocates cleanliness and so does our society somehow Bengali Muslim community is a little behind even than the Hindu community. On a typical day if you compare the two kitchens of a average middle class Muslim family than with a Hindu one you will find that the Hindu family's kitchen is much cleaner and tidier. Because they consider cleanliness as part of their prayer and we don't.

I am sorry if I have gone disarray with my subject and its context. I am not trying to advise or suggest you how to live your life. My sole purpose is to prove you that you still posses all the quality and capacity for a person to live a decent life ( not that you had not in the past) and have the unlimited capacity to contribute to our society by teaching, writing and public speaking. I am neither a good speaker nor a writer, which you probably have figured out already. I am trying to grasp a better command in the ENGLISH language so that someday I may attain the capacity to semi articulate a thought in speech or in writing.

By the way do you know anybody named Dewan Dipankar Mohammed Salahuddin from MCC. He may have been your classmate in MCC. He is my brother in law and hails from SAVAR and currently a member of the parliament from BNP.
There are at least 15-20 people I know here are from MCC. And also I have a relative (from my wife's side) who is related to Nazly, your wife, Chameli , Kakoli etc. and remembers you, Haider, Saiful and a whole lot of others. Plus if their father was a professor of Victoria College or Women's College, I am sure my father would know him as We lived in Comilla for about twenty four years or so and still there.  My regards to your parents and best wishes to you. Please edit my first mail by taking off the Banglar Kakoli incident( even true) and anything you see fit and then put it out in your web page.

Lytton A Waziullah
(972)206-0529 Phone
(972)602-9508 Fax
lyttonw@yahoo.com

1. Dear Sir,

Salaam, I am Sadaruddin from 19th batch, as we did not sailed together you might not remember me, but I can remember meeting you quite a few times.

Abdullah Bhai looks a bit different with beard may be to me, as I did not see him on beard before.

Recently I posted some comments in the massage board of Abdullah Bhai's page, I think you can take care of any such responsibility, which can be a good help for the Mariners of Bangladesh.

Manning on board ship is a profitable business. If you can make a data base of companies and the Mariners in Bangladesh you can contact the companies all over the world. I know it's a long shot but you can at least give some thought about it, also making web pages for different companies is another option, with your excellent shipping background and computer skill it will be easy to pursue the companies. Start with few Bangladeshi companies may be for free than go for international, think about the possibilities.

Hope to get reply from you soon. Keep up your good work and be happy.

Chowdhury Md. SADARUDDIN
Marine Surveyor, Darwin
PO Box 37746, Winnellie, NT 0821
Telephone: 08-8984 4344
Fax: 08-8984 3784
Mobile: 0417 608 179
E-mail: cds@amsa.gov.au

Dear Sir

I found your web page & it is really touching. i am sorry for whatever happened to your life, but again proud that you made it. i would like to give my identity as an ex-cadet of F.C.C (1990 - H.S.C) to you as i know this is our first relationship from whichever C.C. we are. Secondly, of course from marine academy (27th batch). I had been serving in O.S.M, Eurasia and Barbers. Awaiting promotion as C/O. I am residing at Nasirabad, Chittagong with two kids and wife Alfe (from M.G.C.C-1990 H.S.C). I wish you all the best and Allah might bless you for your courage and patience. We have a lot to learn from you. Please keep in touch if time permits. Regards to your family.

Sadiq
E-mail: Sadiq@ridge.tc

salaam,

It was very unfortunate that I never had a chance to meet you after our last meeting at Aquaba.

I had a bit of devastation in my life too, not at worst as yours, but different is nature. Anyway, I took the opportunity of Migration and living in Australia. Left marine engineering. Did a degree in computer science and now working as Internet working Expert in Australian national Telecommunication company "Telstra".

I am very happy that you are up an taken the challenge of life. Good luck and to be honest, you can start your business working from home and doesn't matter you are sitting or in bed. I will be very happy if you keep me in your mailing list.

Ekramullah Chowdhury
E-mail: ekramullahchowdhury@hotmail.com

My Comments: Dear Ekram, I tried to contact you several times, but I couldn't succeed.

Dear Sir,

An excellent job done by you. I hope u can do more site like this, and pray to almighty ALLAH to give you that power and ability.

I am from 28th batch. I left the ship few years ago. Now I am running a IT firm and cyber cafe near to your house that is in Mohakhali DOHS. I hope I can meet with you soon. I will try to keep touch with you.

Thanks

Abdul kader
E-mail: wavebd@hotmail.com

First take my best regards. I am also an ex-cadet (Passed 1990). Right now, I am in my last year in PhD in Electronic engineering. I feel happy when I see any Bangladeshi who are devoted in computer. My 10 years stay in abroad convinced me that the only hope still Bangladesh has is its high potential in Software development and export. The market is in the very childhood stage in Bangladesh and the way is long but prosperous. I wish you devote in developing high-tech softwares full with new ideas. Good thing comes to those who work and wait. I wish your early recovery as well.

Regards,

Nazmul
E-mail: nazmul1228@hotmail.com

1. 19 Jun 2001
Shahidul,

I am sorry to hear about what has happened to you following the swim in 1993. At the same time I am delighted to see your excellent work on the web. I wish you all the best for your future.

Best regards.

Capt. Khairul Anam
Presently with MCA, UK
E-mail: k_anam@hotmail.com

Hello Sir,

1. Thanks for your reply. I am a junior (28th Batch) of Marine Academy. Recently I have visited your web site and I was so encouraged by your site that I cannot express in e-mail. I am in South Shields for my Class 2/1 (Deck) course. I have given your web site to everybody I know. And I hope, all persons should visit your site to know the meaning of life.

May Allah bless you.
SALUTE TO YOU. Best Regards

Shaon

1. 21 Jun 2001
Hello Dickhead,

Long time no see. How are things with you? Just stumbled upon your site. Shall stay in touch. give my salaam to all at home. Stay well. Good luck.

Sir,

I'm from 31st batch. I'm very much encouraged after seeing your effort.

K.M. Asaduzzaman
E-mail: kmazaman@yahoo.com

Sir,

I come to know about you from Bangladesh Mariners web site. I am surprised and feel proud of you as you are an ex-cadet of M.A. Chittagong. You have inspiration to invent new things and utilize your mind power and of course it would be the best profession for you.
Wish your best of luck.

Siddhartha Sankar Paul
E-mail: ssp31st@yahoo.com