Sardar-Jee Jokes Page 2

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5021. Santa Singh was traveling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidentally, the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the ends of a woman's saree. He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph" The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital.

He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him, in a worse condition. Banta explained what happened to him He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.

The Owner replied" I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay".

He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied, "I have 3 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay".

He went to the next house and asked:" Do you have "grown up" Daughters?". The Owner asked, "WHY?????????" Banta replied, " I wanted to stay here for a night....." The rest.... you guess....

5022. Santa Singh is travelling on a flight from Bombay to Sydney. As the flight is approaching towards Sydney, the captain makes a customary announcement, "Ladies and gentlemen, we are now approaching Sydney and at the moment we are at their outskirts" Santa promptly calls the air-hostess and cheekily asks her "Axe-cuse me madam, when will we get inside the skirts?"

5023. A Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"

5024. A Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.

When the foreman asked the Sardar why he kept painting less each day,he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."

Questions & Answers (Q & A)

5025.
Q: How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

5026.

Q: How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

5027.

Q: What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

5028.

Q: Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

5029.

Q: Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.

5030.

Q: How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.

5031.

Q: Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.

5032.

Q: Why can't Sardar dial 911?
A: They can not find the eleven on the phone

5033.

Q: How do you get Sardar on the roof?
A: Tell him the drinks are on the house.

5034.

Q: "Oh, look at the dead bird."
A: Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

5035.

Q: Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
A: They're there for those who don't drink.

5036.

Q: Why do Sardars have see-through lunch box lids?
A: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

5037.

Q: What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
A: He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!

5038.

Q: What will a Sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper ?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
A: He takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!

5039.

Q: Why did 18 Sardarjis go to a movie?
A: Because below 18 was not allowed.

5040.
Q: What do you do when a Sarder throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

5041.

Q: What do you do when a Sarder throws a pin at you?
A: Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

5042.

Q: What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

5043.

Q: What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
A: The back of his head.

5044.

Q: What do you call a Sarder who drinks only beer?
A: Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

5045.

Q: What do you call a Sarder who has only one drink?
A: Just-one Singh.

5046.

Q: Why does Sarder have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

5047.

Q: How can you tell when Sarder sends you a fax?
A: It has a stamp on it.

5048.

Q: What do smart Sarder and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but you never see them.

5049.

Q: Why does it take longer to build a Sarder snowman as opposed to a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.

5050.

Q: What did Sardar skydiver do during skydiving ?
A: He missed the Earth

5051.

Q: Why does a Sardar only change his baby's diapers once a month?
A: Because it says right on the box "good for up to 20 pounds."

5052.

Q: Why couldn't the Sardar write the number "eleven"?
A: He didn't know which "one" (1) came first...

5053.

Q: Why are Sardar secret agents the best in the world?
A: Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.

5054.

Q: Why did the Sardar signed all his cheques ?
A: So that no one else could use them if he lost his cheque book?

5055.

Q: Why did the Sardar asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs?
A: He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.

5056.

Q: Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.

5057. Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.

Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh

5058. Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived.

This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.

When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.

Said his wife "What's the matter? "
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"

5059. Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God.

A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

5060. Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands "Rubi!"
"Woof!" (its the barking sound)
"Press the red button."
"Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!"
"Woof!"
"Press the white button."
"Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!"
"Woof."
"Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"

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